He's gone

To borrow from the King himself*

 "I'm left, you're right, he's gone."


Well depsite having known this day was coming for quite some time - ie approximately the last two years. It has finally arrived, and earlier this afternoon Mr Half and an utterly ridiculous amount of kit were deposited in the Platoon Stores on camp for onward transportation to Afghanistan.

Most of the previous day people who work on campus were busy telling me that I would be emotional when I dropped him off, or that I'd miss him instantly. Clearly these people don't know me as well as they thought, since I gave him nothing but abuse as I drove him to camp over the state he was leaving our home in. Even more abuse for his ill treatment of my poor little car (how dare he slam her door in to a hedge etc). When he hopped back in to the car so I could be escorted off camp he had to be remineded that as yet he'd not given me his BFPO address yet had managed to give it to his family and assorted friends... which was pretty much the last thing we said to one another before I drove away.

Y'know while I don't regret that I didn't tell him I love him, nor do any of the lovey dovey mushy stuff some other women might what I do regret is that I missed the first three phone calls he made to the house as I choose to go home, get changed and go for a 4 mile run. On the other hand the answer phone messages were highly amusing since it transpires failed to pack several items such as - head phones for his MP3, issued sun glasses, issued goggles and apparently some component of his webbing.

*Sigh* at some point I have no doubt these items will reappear and I'll be able to post them on to him but seriously what sane person takes an MP3 and no headphones, surely they are effectively a single unit item?


*Pick a King Elvis or Tom with James Dean Bradfield

Lonely

Today I'm feeling incredibly alone, I've not heard from Mr Half since before the news the other day and while in my oh so practical head I know only too well that he hates making phone calls, and if he's written it will take at least a week to get to me I'm still beginning to feel those evil tendrils of concern which are working their way through my heart and crumbling my otherwise strong mindset on just getting through this tour. I finally sought out the battlegroup welfare page on facebook and joined but the posts appear to pretty much all be from unrelated people and are written with that delightful combination of 'txt spk' and idiotese which make deciphering it all but impossible thus finding support or comfort in the words of others dealing with this period equally as impossible.

A subdued Return

It's been too long...

The main reason for which has been the fact that Mr Half has finally deployed and while I want and need to write about it for reasons of OpSec (Operational Security) and PerSec (Personal Security) I have been self censoring to avoid making it too obvious with which unit he has deployed and the dates he is away for. Those posts which are currently saved in horrendously rough draft form will be polished - in the hope that you really can polish a turd - and posted at some point, not necessarily in chronological order and in as deliberately vague manner as I can possibly convey the feelings and thoughts I have experienced during this period I have been living as a 'single' celibate woman waiting for her other half to come home.

In the mean time I break my self imposed posting ban to ask you all to take a moment to think of the families of the 6 brave servicemen tragically killed in Afghanistan this week. May they Rest in Peace for they have done their duty and given their all.

R.I.P

Pity Party

Firstly apologies for the disappearing act (not that I actually believe anyone other than myself reads this but hey just in case). Mr H and I went on a lovely 10 day holiday in early September and since returning seem to have been living in a whirlwind of plans, absences and broken technology.

He has returned to the mothership, and embarked on his PDT. This has meant that I now see even less of him than before we seem to be having the type of weekend only relationship I moved to avoid.

Mostly that is absolutely fine and wonderful, the first week he was absent I enjoyed a lovely dinner out with an Arrser one day during the week, and a very busy day of mystery shopping before what ought to have been a lovely lazy weekend - spoiled by agreeing to work an extra 5 hours and him having to leave Sunday evening to get back to playing at being a real soldier.

That night I have to say I got home and felt more incredibly lonely than I'd like to, no particular reason as far as I can tell, the flat was simply empty and I didn't want it to be. Fingers crossed that feeling will remain gone as I don't like it in the slightest.

In other potentially expensive news I have informed Mr Half that we will be moving from the flat in to a bigger property the month before our lease runs out, this being decided due to his deployment dates being smack bang in the middle of the period the lease actually runs out and the fact that I will not move house on my own when he could help me! Naturally this has meant that I am skint, I am not making the extra payments to my credit card as I would like to be doing and any extra money I'm managing to accumulate I'm putting to one side to pay the assorted fees associated with a shiny new rental property.

Appropriate Dress?

At the recent end of course event my work mates and I spent several happy hours analysing exactly what we felt was and was not suitable dress for both the day and evening events.

Worrying was the number of girls who felt that a see-thru chiffon style dress was a good idea for day wear, short skirts leaving nothing to the imagination or bold vivid colours which were teamed with pale skin and bleached blonde hair and about 6 inches of make up.....

But our favourite crap clothes were a pair of 'ladies' one short, dumpy and straw blonde, wearing a black minidress (far too tight) black ankle boots -cut off above the ankle making her legs look even shorter and fatter (seriously she made me look anorexic!), and a shapless black shiney fabric jacket which was actually longer than her skirt. And her companion an amazonian lady who must share a hairdresser as they had exactly the same shade of hair with its strawlike appearence, a bold purple dress which in all fairness was quite nice if a little tight, and scarlet platform shoes which again were quite nice - but as a combo looked utterly stupid.

These women in contrast to the fewer well dressed women, in pretty tea dresses, or as one was wearing a white shift dress with a green leaves and flowers pattern and a blue cropped jacket. Managing to look smart without looking over dressed, weather appropriate - no flying hems thanks to the invevitable wind or chicken skin arms from the cold.

Amusement in the evening was mainly from men in cheap suits thinking they looked the 'dogs' until one of the graduating group wandered by in their tailored uniforms, again girls in the strangest assortment of ball gowns - interesting cut out panels were the order of the evening it seemed, and shoes so high that you cannot actually walk in them waddling and shuffling are not ladylike and how on earth do you plan to dance?

So suggestions when dressing for military events think Kate Middleton not Katie Price, for outfits, make up, and attitude, because quite frankly when dealing with the civilian staff if you're not nice to us we won't be nice to you and we most certainly will remember you when you arrive in 6 weeks time to follow your partner in to the military....

Progress of a kind

Mr Half has finally put in a leave pass to cover the 4 weeks I could be having off work soon(ish) so I've been able to book flights to take he and I out to a family apartment on the sunny island of Tenerife. It's going to be strange taking him out there, as the village is like my second home, and I did alot of growing up on my visits over there when we were visiting before mummyhalf moved permanently, while she was there and since she subsequently moved 'home' to the UK with my almost step dad. I say almost because sisterhalf and I live in hope that they'll decide to get hitched to save us from nanahalf's incessent nagging about when she gets to buy 'a nice hat and frock'. Naturally being the only one in my family other than my mum in a long term relationship I get harassed every time I go back to visit which is in turns irritating and sweet - nanaH has said in the past that if not for the age gap she'd probably have gone for mrH too, her late husband was when she met him on medical leave from the merchant navy during the latter stages of WW2 and she firmly believes some of his experiences contributed to him suffering from a form of PTSD throughout his entire life.

This of course worries me somewhat....I dont want to turn in to my Nana!
Then again she's planning her 90th birthday party and has VERY strong ideas about exactly what should happen, has brought up two strong minded independent women in the shape of my mum and aunt, was married to my grandad for almost 50 years- that landmark was sadly missed by a matter of months when he finally succumbed to assorted cancers which he'd been fighting for almost 10 years (yeah apparently stubborn comes from all sides of my family) - has beaten cancer herself shortly after she lost grandad, and thanks to finally accepting that she needed it has recently under gone cateract removal on one eye and is currently terrorising the neighbourhood in her 'leccy wheelchair while awaiting the go ahead to have the other eye treated.

Maybe my Nana is exactly who I want to take after, she's a tough auld bird, but loyal, stubborn about the things that matter most to her, and honest even when it hurts to hear it, with two adult children who love her faults and all.

Struggling onwards

Mr Half has restarted his blog, for an idea of what we are going through feel free to pop over and visit him at mrhalf

He's been taken out of the unit he has been working with and has been moved to another job within the camp, oddly its a fairly isolated job but on actually forcing him to discuss it I (even if he doesn't) think a part of the reasoning will be down to it giving him firm and fixed targets to work towards which he doesn't have in the previous role.


In crater reduction news, erm, I've put back on 1lb, but have stayed at the same weight now for two weigh ins, this without having actually dragged my wobbly backside out for a run once. So over the next couple of weeks I need to keep a closer eye on my food consumption, as I know I've been letting the food diary slip somewhat missing out little things like that handful of jelly sweets or the 'odd' latte.... Daddy Half is coming to visit soon and is going to bring with him my mountain bike and one of the old ones which in another lifetime were my his or Mummy half's, I'm hopeful that once we have them we can try to make the most of the local cycle routes on our one shared day off, and I intend to use it for getting to and from work - much quicker than walking, if nothing else!