Be it of insanity or drunkeness we military 'others' have to have some kind of balance point we aim to reach to keep ourselves somewhat sensible in the face of our partners. Me I favour abuse and alcohol, send him away for more than a couple of nights and I'm the girl snuggled up on the sofa with a bottle of wine and the duvet claiming he's nothing but a nuisance - because the bed is just too big and too cold for the first couple of nights he's not in it and being virtually tee-total he dislikes finding my booze in the fridge- a friend prefers to lie in bed naked doing the starfish upside down just because she can, while another will only sleep in the spare room as it makes it easier to pretend he isn't really gone.
The latter is new to this weird world of commitment while not actually spending time together, the first is by now an old hand as she starts the fourth deployment. Me I like to think I'm somewhere in the middle, but then again how on earth is there a middle ground to dealing with the absence of the one you love for such protracted periods of time?
Acht well only another 17 peaceful days to enjoy!
Friday, 11 March 2011
Tuesday, 1 March 2011
Identity Crisis
Silly as it may seem since beginning work at my current location I have been fairly cautious to not let the permanent military staff know who the lovely MrHalf really is. I like being simply 'HalfinHalfout' while MrHalf is referred to as the other half further information about him is rarely if ever mentioned.
So when shortly after I mentioned to one customer that I was in the process of moving in with MrHalf he suddenly went 'ohh I know who he is now, you're girlfriendofmrhalf, at least I assume you are coz you've the same name and he said hes moving in with the mrs' it passed with little comment, but now just a few days later even mrhalf's boss is coming in to my workplace and greeting me with 'good afternoon girlfriendofmrhalf' I'm beginning to wonder if that's all I am....
Silly really, I know I am HalfinHalfout, I know I am outside of work my own person, one who just happens to live in a flat with a man who works for the military at the same site as I am currently civilian staff but it has caused a rather uncomfortable feeling that who I am at work is diminishing as more and more of my customers associate me with MrHalf, and worse start to think of me as 'girlfriendofmrhalf who works in there' when I much prefer the idea of being 'Halfin, who works in the shop'.
I wonder if that's how all women begin to feel when their previously comfortable relationship takes another one of those huge leaps - be it the admission on the faceache page of who it is you're in a relationship with, the first time you attend a work function together, the sudden appearance of bills on the door mat in both your names and then the final leap when you voluntarily give up one half of your on paper legal identity and aquire his last name in place of the one you've worn (usually) for all of your life?
Thankfully for me the last is still a very long distance away if it ever happens so I guess I just have to learn to live with mrhalf's workmates persisting in calling me girlfriendof until I can find a new job and reclaim my own identity.
So when shortly after I mentioned to one customer that I was in the process of moving in with MrHalf he suddenly went 'ohh I know who he is now, you're girlfriendofmrhalf, at least I assume you are coz you've the same name and he said hes moving in with the mrs' it passed with little comment, but now just a few days later even mrhalf's boss is coming in to my workplace and greeting me with 'good afternoon girlfriendofmrhalf' I'm beginning to wonder if that's all I am....
Silly really, I know I am HalfinHalfout, I know I am outside of work my own person, one who just happens to live in a flat with a man who works for the military at the same site as I am currently civilian staff but it has caused a rather uncomfortable feeling that who I am at work is diminishing as more and more of my customers associate me with MrHalf, and worse start to think of me as 'girlfriendofmrhalf who works in there' when I much prefer the idea of being 'Halfin, who works in the shop'.
I wonder if that's how all women begin to feel when their previously comfortable relationship takes another one of those huge leaps - be it the admission on the faceache page of who it is you're in a relationship with, the first time you attend a work function together, the sudden appearance of bills on the door mat in both your names and then the final leap when you voluntarily give up one half of your on paper legal identity and aquire his last name in place of the one you've worn (usually) for all of your life?
Thankfully for me the last is still a very long distance away if it ever happens so I guess I just have to learn to live with mrhalf's workmates persisting in calling me girlfriendof until I can find a new job and reclaim my own identity.
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